Just wondering - who is really doing “the work?”

“What ever we refuse to recognize about ourselves has a way of rearing its head

and making itself know when we least expect it.” Debbie Ford

There is a great conversation and debate taking place on many face book groups right now about the phrase, “looking for the good". The discussion is that if we only “look for the good” then we may be pushing down the shadow side of the self even deeper into the dark depths of the unconscious. The thought is that in being human we must address and uncover all the aspects of our selves, in order to be honest about the fullness of the possibilities held within us. The light, the good, the in between, and the scary dark places where our ugly potential lies hidden just waiting to strike. I agree. In only “looking for the good” we are not clearly seeing the whole person. We see only one aspect. I'm not suggesting we wallow in the shadow side of self for eternity. But, quite frankly we are not all pink fuzzy unicorns filled with bright sunshine and light.

Some days we greet the morning with a growl and a hiss. We wake up anticipating that first cup of coffee to find that the coffee maker is broken, and we're pissed. We misplace our keys, frantically racing around the house to finally find them buried in the dirty laundry basket.Then the car won't start. We pick up the phone to hear the wracking sobs of a loved one. A dear friend has passed. We argue with our boss. A friend betrays us. Our heart is broken, again. We are sad, disappointed, angry, envious, mean-spirited and hurtful. We rage, we rant, and we bully. And somewhere along the continuum we become aware of these misplaced feelings and we admit, yes, we are capable of acting out in multifarious ways.

And then we begin to post on face book. We admit to our darker ways. We talk talk talk. We talk about doing our inner work. We talk about going deep. We talk about bringing these aspects of our nature out into the light so that they may dissipate and loose the strong armed grip it has on our hearts, minds and bodies.

But I'm wondering, is that enough? This “talk therapy?” This face book processing? I'm wondering what the ratio is to talking, having the awareness conversations, to what is called Bhavana practice? For every hour spent reading a post, responding, reading articles and books on doing our inner work, to every hour sitting on our cushion, and actually doing the inner work?

Meditating. Journaling. Self-inquiry. Contemplation. Meditating. Sitting in the sanctuary of our own Self and allowing all the random crazy thoughts to surface. Sitting and allowing all the deeply held hurts and wild feelings to hit like a tsunami almost drowning out the life force. Then sit again until the volcanic eruption of emotions settles, so we can begin to sift through the ashes. Then journal about it.

Then sit again. Then journal again, and hold the conversation with the Self. Why are we so angry at this person? What is underneath this intense rage and sense of betrayal? How much of our sense of identity was misplaced? Have we been hurt? Yes. Was it a personal affront? Yes. Are we confused? Yes, yes, yes.

Then sit again and continue to ask the tough questions. What is in here for us to learn about ourselves? What part did we play in this drama? Why did we stay in this relationship? What was random, what was karma, what was dharma?

What are we capable of? And what the hell do we do with all of this? Sit. The practice, the yoga, is to sit day after day after day. No excuses. No BSing ourselves.

Sit in the uncomfortableness. Sit in the messiness of our life. Sit in the messiness of all Life. Sit, and not only allow the darkness to surface, but invite it to surface. And then sit across from it, look it in the eye, scared, and shaky until we no longer are.