p.s. it's a paradox

So here's the thing about developing a contemplation practice, I get to contemplate stuff. And what I love and appreciate about the practice is that I am often transported to the land of paradox. Because I didn't yet have the stability that all of my practices and life experience brought, paradox used to be a scary place for me. Living with paradox often made me feel as though something was wrong with me. I wondered how I could hold such contradictory feelings within one experience or a day's time.

But then Aaa... many years ago I was introduced to Tantra philosophy, where I was plunged right into the teachings of paradox. And a funny thing happened along the way, I became less fearful, more willing to embrace the many nuances that life offers, and I began to trust in myself more.

Nowadays, when a strong feeling, an inclination, an experience, an insight arises, I sit with it. I do my self-inquiry practices and the next thing I know, what I've written in my journal, what I've shared here on these pages may have taken a surprising turn. Maybe it spins out far and wide, or maybe it pulls in and moves up the spiral. It's neither right, nor is it wrong. It has simply shown more of itself. As a result of the practice I've discovered a nuance, a paradox, and rather than pull away from it in fear, I move towards it. I am able to see that my life, who I am, my personal experiences and relationships are many faceted and never one thing, much like Russian nesting dolls. The good news is that freedom exists in that realization.

Maybe you're wondering, "so what's the point?" Well, the point is that recently I've written about why I teach and practice formidable poses. I revealed strong personal feelings on the subject, and I hold all of what I shared to be true. But something kept nagging, as if I couldn't quite remember an important message I needed to deliver. So I did what I do - I sat with it again, and I uncovered another doll.

By whose criteria am I classifying formidable poses? What does a formidable pose look like? Perhaps for many practitioners, at first glance, formidable poses are advanced poses, harder poses, poses that require strength, flexibility, and the ability to perform like Mr. Iyengar demonstrates in Light On Yoga. But is that a deep enough contemplation?

In my last post I also talked about practicing poses that I call Slugasana. I still love Slugasana, the word, the visualization of moving slow, quiet and deep on my mat, the actual doing of it. But now after further contemplation, the paradox as I see it, is that sometimes Slugasana, whether it be triangle or child's pose, are equally as formidable as Handstand.

As in the last post, in reflection of a time in my life when getting out of bed was a feat, the mere act of laying down my mat was the sublime execution of a formidable pose.